We don’t need no stinking badgers!

merlin:

Communities Erect: Thoughts on the Intrinsic Value of Saying When You’re Standing Near Something

Jesus Christ. Who do I have to blow to get some fucking badges on this shit?

I mean, seriously. I’ve stood in several general areas on more than one occasion—and, yes, haters—I’ve been diligent about ALWAYS programmatically notifying the API of a web server as to a) where I’m standing, b) what I’m doing while I’m standing there, c) whether it involves eating (or waiting to eat) something, and d) whether the thing I’m eating (or waiting to eat) turns out to be more properly declaimed as “nom nom” or “fail.”

Duh. Okay? I get the personal responsibility aspects of thorough and consistent self-reporting.

But I guess I just feel like…what? I guess I just feel like why bother standing anywhere if programmatically notifying the API of a web server about it doesn’t inevitably lead to one of the computers eventually rewarding my careful standing-reportage by conferring the prestige, gratitude, and—yes—basic fucking human decency and respect that can only be accorded by triggering a ruby script that alters a small graphic on my phone.

Candidly? It almost makes me question the value of bothering to report what I’m standing near at all. It really does.

I’m sorry. I didn’t really mean that; that would be anti-social. And, I know that.

But, whether receiving kudos via event-based scripts and slightly-altered phone graphics or otherwise, I owe it to the people I’ve never met who sometimes stand near places where I’ve stood near to know that I have also stood near there sometimes too. Sometimes more or less often, and on serendipitous occasions, the same number of times that they stood near there. But, yes: I did sometimes stand near where they stood near. And, yes, they and computers should know that.

Sure, I do it for me. But I also do it for my community. And, the computers. It’s what? A cartographic social contract.

And, yes, I will continue reporting the things I sometimes am standing near in the fervent hope that perhaps one day, in a more just and sane world, ALL of our achievements in standing near something sometimes will receive the overdue recognition that they deserve.

Call me a dreamer, but I think this is, ultimately, what makes us human.

Perhaps, one day it may even inspire the seated and the un-reporting alike to consider standing near things sometimes—and, yes, just as importantly: to proudly and with as little ambiguity as their extant GPS signal will permit, to share that information with people they don’t know. And computers.

With peace, love, and sometimes standing near things other people may have stood near, I shall remain,

A Registered User
(37.7431439, -122.4757534)